I miss Grandad

As the anniversary of Dad's death approached I was very aware of what date it was everyday. That in itself is strange. I rarely know what the date is. I struggle just knowing what day of the week it is. My other friends who are stay at home mums say they're the same. I wasn't sure how I'd feel on the 19th Feb. I woke up and it was an ordinary day and I actually felt ok. I'd organised with my brothers to get flowers for mum. She was travelling back home to Tassie from a week on the Gold Coast with my brother Simeon, so my youngest brother Reuben went and bought a lovely big bunch of flowers and a note from all of us. Mum rang me when she arrived home and was so happy we were all thinking of her. I'm glad she had a lovely stay with Sim and his girl, Jacky. I think it probably took her mind off things for a while at least. She still had a bit of a cry on the phone to me but to me she sounded pretty good.

So dad's anniversary came and went but grief is a funny thing and just hits you full force at random times. I was attending a meeting at church on a Sunday evening a few weeks ago. We were blessed with the opportunity to have an Australia wide broadcast with an apostle from the church, Elder David A Bednar. I learned a lot and felt inspired by a few things he'd discussed. However, as I was leaving I overheard an elderly man talking to a group of people. They asked him how he was and he replied with something like 'well pretty good considering I have cancer. I'm glad I'm still around at 78.' My heart started aching almost immediately with longing for my dad...not longing for him for my benefit though. I just felt like he'd been robbed of the opportunity to enjoy his Grandsons and for them to have his amazing influence in their life. I did not begrudge this man of his life. I just felt like asking God why he got to live and Dad had to die so young! I'm usually the one telling my mum not to think like this as she has said those very words to me many times. I do not believe that God punishes people but it's still hard not to think "if only" sometimes. 

About a week ago mum rang me and sounded quite excited. She proceeded to tell me that she'd had a really amazing experience. She told me that she had been struggling with feelings of anger and was seriously considering writing to the hospital about Dad's specialist and the poor care he'd received in the last few months before he died. However, she kept getting prompted to clean out the garage again and go through a particular box that she'd already sorted through after Dad died. In the box she found a little notebook and turned straight to a page that read these words that dad had written 

"Let go what you cant change. I will love you forever in this life and the next. 

Accept what is! Let go of what was! Have faith in what will be." 

It is basically what the boys and I have been advising her to do. But this message was directly from dad and she said that as she read it she felt like Dad was speaking directly to her and that the feeling she had to check the box was Dad communicating to her. I readily agreed. My friend who lost her son and husband has had so many experiences where rainbows will appear at certain times and it's like her loved ones are communicating to her and her family from Heaven. Another girl on Instagram finds little love heart shaped items wherever she goes. She calls them love notes from CJ (Her late husband). I truly feel that the loved ones we lose still communicate with us in unique yet very personal ways. Simeon told mum that Jacky dreamt about dad. Simeon met Jacky after Dad passed away yet she woke up Sim in the middle of the night to tell him that she'd met dad in her dreams and loved him so much. Sim said she was so excited and said it had felt so real. I remember Sim talking about meeting Jacky and how he'd felt Dad had led her to Sim. Our grief is still there but it's nice to be able to recognise the blessings that come within tragedy. 

For the past week or so Will has been very emotional. He started talking to me about having a friend in Heaven. I asked who this friend was and he said he didn't know. A day later he was sitting at the table during lunch and looked up at me, tears filled his eyes and he choked on the words "I miss Grandad." Will hasn't said anything about Dad for a few months and I was beginning to worry that he'd started to forget him.  I'd talked about him but not gotten much response from Will previously or he'd say "I don't miss Grandad. He's in Heaven."....Will and I had a big hug and I told him I really missed him too. He then said that he wished Grandad was here so he could read him stories and sing his silly song to him. My dad used to sing this funny little song to Will. 

"Oh dear what can the matter be, Three old ladies got stuck in the Lavatory,

They were there from Monday to Saturday, no-body knew they were there!"

I started singing it and Will asked me to stop. I had a little cry with Will and told him that Grandad can't be with us but that he watches over us from Heaven. Will asked me If Grandad was coming back from Heaven soon? It's hard to know what to say to that. I've told Will that we will be resurrected someday, just like the Saviour, but his concept of time is still a child's understanding so I don't want to confuse him. Last Sunday we had Bill and Sue over after church for the afternoon. Pete and I were preparing dinner in the kitchen and I heard Will talking to his Grandpa Bill. He said "Grandpa, I miss my Grandad!" I started crying and had a big hug with Pete as Bill gave Will a hug and said he knew he was missing Grandad. I said to Will that we'd have to watch some videos of him with his Grandad but I hate to say that we've yet to do that. Life has been so hectic the past few weeks but I must do this with Will so he can feel that connection and remember the things he loves about his Grandad and the special relationship they have. 

With Easter fast approaching I hope I can find simple ways to teach Will about the Atonement and the role of the Savior. That because of him we will be able to be reunited with his Grandad and live as families for eternity. 

I tracked down the last video I took of Dad. It's the afternoon we arrived In Tassie to visit Dad 2 weeks before he passed away. It's taken on my phone and edited so it's at the right angle, so the quality isn't great. It's such a sweet video. I know Will is going to love watching it tomorrow. 

Will starts Kindy

Our friends who lived here before us recommended Reynella Kindy to us and told us that there was occasional care there as well. I was quick to look into it and Will started going in May last year for 1 morning a week. He and I loved it! By the end of last year I was really struggling at home with 2 kids. I just felt guilty all the time as I couldn't give Will all the stimulation he was craving and I wasn't organised enough to do so many of the ideas in the Pinterest world that looked amazing and educational. I was also realising that I was well and truly to start working again and started getting the ball rolling to do some Relief Teaching. 

Although I have reservations about children starting kindy and school so early, I felt so confident sending Will off to Kindy this year for 2 full days and almost felt guilty that I was not sad! 

In term 3 and 4 it is hoped he will do 3 full days. (The Kindy has to wait to see if there is enough Government funding before this goes ahead) Will turned 4 on the 26th January and the very next day started Kindy. He was so excited on his first day but got all coy as soon as I brought the camera out. I was feeling really unwell so mum took him off to Kindy. It was a little disappointing that I couldn't drop him off on his first day but I was at least able to take the photos and make his lunch. 

 Will wasn't as eager the next day as he was so tired. He was excited to wear his new Kindy T-Shirt though. I would love to have a uniform for him but most of the kindergarten's here in SA are stand alone and not associated with a particular school. This does have it's good points though and Will's classmates will be going to heaps of different schools. He has at least one little boy going to the same Primary School next year. 

He looks so much like his daddy in these photos!

Will's Birthday Interview

I was inspired a few years back by a friend to do a birthday interview with my children but forgot to do it last year with Will. Hopefully I'll remember to do it each year. Blogging it will certainly help. Will loved me sitting down with him and talking all about himself. 

This is unedited. 

M: What is your name?
W: Will David Watt

M: Where do you live?
W: <He answered with our address minus the postcode> 

M: How old are you? 
W: Four

M: What is your favourite thing to do?
W: Play

M: What is your favourite colour?
W: Red

M: What is your favourite animal?
W: Elephant and Rhinos

M: What are your favourite TV shows?
W: Peppa Pig

M: What song do you love?
W: Bam a lam (Black Betty by Spiderbait) 

M: Who are your friends?
W: Nessa, Kira, Xavier, Bastian

M: What is your favourite food?
W: Vegemite Sandwich

M: What makes you laugh
W: Tickles

M: What do you want to be when you grow up?
W: Seven

M: What do you like to do with your family?
W: Share

M: What are your favourite books?
W: Vehicles, Zachary Quack 

M: What are you really good at?
W: Drawing and somersaults

M: Where do you like to go?
W: To the playground

M: Where do you wish you could go on holiday?
W: Tasmania

M: If you had one wish, what would it be?
W: For a garbage truck

M: What is the best time of day?
W: 30 o' clock

M: What do you hope you'll get to do before your next Birthday?
W: Cut up Quiche. 


The last answer cracks me up!! Will loves helping in the kitchen but really wants to do more than I'll let him just yet...obviously knife handling at 4 isn't going to happen! 

Will turns 4!

Like his mummy, Will loves to plan ahead. He has a clear idea of the things he likes and tries so hard to explain how he wants things to go. Since his 2nd Birthday he's been so certain about exactly how he wants his day to go. This year was explained in such a detailed manner but the concept was lovely in it's simplicity. Will decided 6 months ago that he wanted a car cake and of course wanted a party with LOTS of people. He named most of the people he wanted to invite and we negotiated it as it was getting a little out of control. Will was happy to negotiate and a few weeks prior he asked me if he could have pancakes for his birthday. "Lots of pancakes to share with all my friends...with blueberries, strawberries and lots of berries and yoghurt" he told me quite seriously. 

We decided that a brunch was the way to go, and it would probably work well for people as it was Australia Day and many people were going off to BBQ's etc during the day. I loved that the preparation was really simple and really cost effective too! 

I had looked at some cake options with Will but mum put a bit of a spanner in the works by bringing a recipe/pic of a tip truck/car from the Woman's Weekly Cake book. It was a bit more complex than the original plans but Will wanted to do the cake Nana suggested. Ha ha

I cooked a choc cake I made for the first time the other day. That was the easy part. I then had to assemble it which wasn't so easy...but I got there in the end despite my whinging throughout the process :-P ...and with a little help from our resident Engineer, Peter :-) Once that was done the icing was problematic too but I felt like we did a good job in the end. The cake wasn't quite as red as we'd hoped but Will didn't mind at all. It looks more Red in the photo but was a bit more pink looking in real life. Will loves Pink so he wasn't phased anyway!

He was very excited to open his presents.

Will has graduated from the trike to a proper bike now. 

I was a bit preoccupied and didn't get any photos of everyone eating but the pancakes went down really well. 

We just did one game of pass the parcel. The kids were plenty busy just playing in the yard for the most part. 

Just like last year, Will didn't even eat the cake. Sometimes I can't figure that boy out! He ate the same cake only the week before and loved it. He's a bit funny at social events with his eating...

We had a lovely morning and Pete and I got to take Will out to the movies to see Big Hero 6. We loved it so much and were very entertained when Will ran to the front at the end for a bit of a boogie. Seems it's becoming a tradition these days! 

Will was pretty wrecked at the end of the day but didn't quite fall asleep on the way home! 

Giraffes, Rhinos and Animal Conservation

Living with a very talkative and imaginative pre-schooler is never dull. Although he can frustrate the life out of me, Will is fantastic company. I love the conversations we have enjoyed since he started talking in full sentences. It never ceases to amaze me at how he thinks about things and it can be weeks later and he will share an insight from a conversation we have had previously. 

  

I wanted to share a conversation I had with him a few months back as it was just gorgeous and demonstrates the way he is thinking about the world and his place in it. 

We were travelling to the gym in the car and the radio was on. A song had finished and the announcers were talking idly about something. The word "Bamboo" was said and Will piped up from the backseat; 

W: "Panda's eat Bamboo, mummy!" 

M: "Yes they do. Did you know that they eat only bamboo and nothing else?

W: “Yes, that's right! Giraffes don't eat Bamboo, they eat trees! Would they eat these trees mummy?” (said pointing to the pine trees along the roadside).

M: “ I don’t think they would eat pine trees sweetie.

W: “Oh. No. They eat fruit though.

M: “Wouldn’t it be funny if we saw a Giraffe walking down the street!”

W: Giggling, “That would be silly. Giraffes are in the zoo!"

M: "Yeah, we can only see them in the zoo, or we have to go to Africa to see them in the wild. Do you know why we have zoos?"

W: "To see the animals!"

M: "Yep. And we help protect the animals. We breed animals in zoos and help people learn how to care for them. In some places there aren't many animals. There are lots of humans and fewer and fewer animals."

W: "That's not good is it!"

M: "No. So we need to help save the animals."

W: "Oh, yes. I am good at saving animals. 

M: " In Africa some bad people kill Rhinos and cut off their horns!"

W: "I will save them. I'm good at saving Rhinos. I will kill the bad people down so they won't hurt the Rhinos."

M: "Maybe when you are bigger you can go to Africa to help save the Rhinos."

W: "Oh yes, I'd love to." (Here I'm thinking, I really hope they are still around when he's older)

M: But you don't kill people sweetie. That's not nice. 

W;" But Luke Skywalker kills bad guys

M: "Yes, but that was just in a movie. He just pretends.  (Will recently watched Star Wars and is now a huge fan). 

W: "Ok, well I will tell the bad people to be kind and then they will be happy because bad people are grumpy. 

M: "That is a good idea but there are other ways we can protect the Rhinos now. 

W: "Oh yeah?"

M: "We can be kind and we can buy things that help protect all the animals and don't harm the environment they live in...

Then we arrived at Grandma's and he got distracted...I told Grandma about our conversation and wrote it down so I wouldn't forget. 

I could almost see the wheels turning in his mind as we were talking and I found it amusing how he went off on tangents at times in typical toddler fashion. By the way, I don't make it a habit to talk about killing animals and poachers etc but I felt it was a good opportunity to raise what I believe is an important issue. I want my children to be aware of all living creatures and how they impact the environment.  

Photos from one of many visits to the Werribee Open Range Zoo. 

Will turns 3!

Will loves Birthdays. If anyone is having a birthday he is always eager to wish them a happy birthday and ask about cake. He really likes cake! 

In August we travelled to Adelaide to surprise Bill on his birthday. What was gorgeous was when Will jumped out into the hallway upon Bill's return home from work and said "Happy Cake Grandad!" Will's cousin Meagan also used to call birthday cakes Happy Cakes.

With both of my brothers having birthdays in December and then Christmas, Will kept asking when his birthday was. He would also tell people wherever he went that it was Will's Birthday and Will's party. He did this for about a month or so before his actual birthday. Will is at the age now where he is starting to really express individual preferences and extreme independence. It's great but also exhausting. He was very clear when I asked him what kind of cake he would like. He wanted a 'train cake.' I was actually happy with this as the first thing that came to mind was the beloved Choo Choo train cake from the Australian Women's Weekly cake book. My brothers and I grew up with my mother making a cake of our choice (selected from this special book) each and every year for our birthdays. We really had such amazing childhoods and my mum organised parties for us each and every year. I don't know whether I'm up to that challenge but my birthday parties are wonderful memories for me and I hope Will can look back in years to come and remember his birthday with fondness...and hopefully realise how much effort goes into it. 

With Will's birthday being on Australia Day we have had a pretty big party the last 2 years with lots of extended family and friends. This year I wanted something low key and asked Will which of his friends he wanted to come. He was pretty good at naming all his friends and I just sent the word out. Didn't even worry about fun invites like we had the past 2 years. When I showed Will a picture of the train cake he told me "Nana make my train cake." Nana come to Will's house. It was really sad having to tell him that Nana wouldn't be coming to his birthday this year and that Mummy would be making his cake. He would still insist that Nana was making his train cake until he spoke to her via skype a few days before the party. Mum almost cried but of course she needed to be in Tassie with dad. On his birthday he didn't seem to notice the absence of both sets of Grandparents which was probably for the best. 

A few days before his birthday on the 26th Jan, cards started arriving in the mail. Will loves opening the mail and was particularly excited to know they were for him.

His reaction at getting a bit of money in the mail was hilarious. He was jumping around going "Money, money, money." I almost broke out with some Abba for him. I really should have as he loves music and dancing...

Pete and I discussed the cake at length and worked out a good plan. I'm not a baker at all. I prefer to cook savouries and dinners, not desserts. I was happy to use a butter cake mix and for Pete to do the assembly and decorating. Will and I made his cake together and went and selected the plethora of lollies etc that were needed for the decorations. I found the prep work pretty fun.  
The cake turned out great and Pete assembled it with ease. It took forever to ice and decorate the cake though. We were only just finishing as our guests arrived. It was a very laid back birthday. I let the kids just play for an hour or so and then played pass the parcel. It was the only game I organised as I think kids at this age (especially boys) just like playing with toys and running around with each other. 

Didn't Pete do an amazing job on the cake! I had the easy part for sure!

The birthday boy did a great job blowing out the candles. He is so funny though, after all the buildup he didn't even eat his cake. He had a nibble and then wasn't interested. I tried to get him to eat some over the next couple of days and he still wouldn't. I eventually gave him the piece of the cake that uses jam sponge and he ate that fairly well. I just don't think he likes butter cake. Pete's mum said we'll have to use her Devil's food cake recipe next time as it is great for cutting and assembling and still yummy and chocolaty.

This was the only shot we ended up getting of Will and his cake. I should have been a bit more on the ball but oh well. At least you can see how excited he is at blowing out his candles.

When everyone had gone home Pete and I let Will have fun blowing out his candles again and we had some photos with him.

Henry looks mesmerised by the candle

I love my boys so much!

I guess I should give a little summary about our big 3 year old.

Will LOVES music and is constantly singing and dancing. His dancing consists mainly of spinning around and around until he falls over. He loves 'Happy' by Pharrell Williams and anything by Daft Punk. But his favourite and most requested song is Pepponi by the Piano guys. (It's a gorgeous cover of the Coldplay song 'Paradise'). He loves instrumental and some classical and will often comment that the music is beautiful - not a word I've ever heard him use when listening to other genres. He loves singing to Henry with me and enjoys my singing. He asks me to sing again if I stop singing during a song. I'm sure the day will come very soon when he asks me to stop singing. I'm enjoying it while it lasts. Henry loves being sung to and enjoys his brothers antics with singing and dance. 

Will is testing me all the time. He cries at the drop of a hat but generally responds well to discipline and will express regret. He will tell me "I'm really sorry mummy" etc but of course will repeat the same behaviour soon after. I'm trying to be as patient as I can but I can tell you that it is so hard to remain composed at times....Like the time he whacked Henry with a thick cardboard roll and the time he deliberately woke Henry up when it had taken me ages to settle him...and I was trying so hard to have one on one time with Will by getting Henry to sleep!

Will loves swimming and is growing more confident. He wants to go under all the time and uses his pool noodle in a variety of ways to get around the pool. This has been wonderful as I can have Henry in the baby floatie and keep Will at arms length. I'm pretty proud of myself for taking them swimming on my own. I love having access to the estate pool and we've been for swims almost daily this summer.

Will is very safety conscious. There have been occasions where I've gone to drive off and he has exclaimed "seat belt mummy, seatbelt!" I'm so glad he is aware and eager to remind me. I really have to get more sleep!!

He cracks us up constantly with funny quotes and his cheeky ways. Sometimes he will say something hilarious when we're having a stern word to him and we have to turn away and stifle a laugh as he says the funniest things. Upon seeing a photo of my friend's beautiful baby girl all dressed up in a gorgeous frilly dress Will pointed excitedly and said

"Look, Henry's a fairy!"

 I laughed so hard and explained that it wasn't Henry but baby Keilani. He then said "She's so cute!" For the most part he's pretty good with using the correct pronouns and I'm quite chuffed about this as it's a hard thing to learn.

Here is another example of a funny conversation from the other day:

Me: "I'm going to run you a bath."

Will: "You can't run in the bath. Silly mummy!

Will speaks with an occa accent but then can sound quite British at times.Pete says that like me, Will's accent becomes more occa when he spends time in Tassie. I don't know if that's the case but Pete insists it is so. I must admit when I talk on the phone I sound a bit bogan at times :-P

Will's memory is incredible and is great at remembering people and people's names. He definitely gets that from me and not his daddy! Just yesterday when we arrived in Tassie and my parents house Will looked around and then asked "Where's Rosie?!" Rosie is a dear friend's Grand-daughter and happened to be here for dinner on our last night in Tassie on our recent trip here. She must have left an impression.

Will's imagination continues to delight us all and he is a great person to play with. I am trying to incorporate teaching opportunities during play and we count and discuss colours and sometimes I try to explain different words and situations. He now knows that a car that's broken needs a mechanic and not a Doctor...I'm trying to do things naturally and look for little lessons I can impart on him. It's not easy when I have limited one on one time with him so I hope he learns the things that will help him the most at this point in his life.

He has a big personality and though he has a tendency to be a little rough and brutish he is also very sweet and gentle...or at least has the capacity to be. This is one area I hope I can help him in this year, especially as he may end up at Pre-Kinder by the end of the year. Now that is a scary thought!

Nursery Boy

In our church we have various programs for people of all ages. When children reach the age of 18 months they can attend Nursery (similar to a creche but with a more structured routine, including a very basic gospel lesson and singing time). 

Several weeks ago Will had his photo taken all ready to go on the nursery board at church. 
Can you see him???

We ended up being away for the last few weeks so he couldn't attend nursery in our regular ward. However, we were very lucky that his first ever visit to Nursery was with my wonderful friend Esther in the Epping Ward.

We had a lovely time and Will thoroughly enjoyed his very first visit to Nursery. Though who wouldn't want Essie as their Nursery leader! I basically dropped him in there and he went straight to the toys and barely noticed me the entire time. He wasn't even phased when a little girl kicked him when she wanted his toy :-( 

Don't worry, I got my teacher voice on and had her apologising and giving him a cuddle in no time. He he. It's great that he was so relaxed and it bodes well for the future. I'll be able to attend BOTH Sunday School and Relief Society - YAY!

Will's first take home work of art - he he. What a valuable lesson to learn too :-) 

In Tassie he attended Nursery with Angela and her hubby John Vinen as his leaders and he loved them too. It's pretty great that his first experiences in Nursery were with beautiful people I have known for a very long time. 

Some of you might recognise these little cuties!!! L-R is Gemma Guy, Angela? Finn. (I feel terrible I've forgotten her name), myself, Angela Vinen, Sarah Doran at the back and Heidi Wardle. I'm loving mum's long hair here too.  He he

This week we were back to our regular ward in Point Cook. I didn't stay in long enough with him this week though and he was a little teary apparently. We heard him crying right as church was finishing and collected him pretty quickly :-P I'm sure next week he'll be more settled and hopefully my lovely friend Tiana will be over her cold and back in Nursery. It's pretty cool that I know his Nursery leaders so well :-) 

I didn't get any photos today so will have to take some another time. Can you believe Will is 18 months old already? I can't!!!

Our recent happenings

We were lucky to have a very brief but nice visit with Aunty Siona and Uncle John when Siona came to meet John after he'd been in Sale for the last few months for work. 

Building with blocks is one of Will's favourite things to do - especially with his dad.

I think his dad loves it almost as much as him!

Will has developed some funny little behaviours - climbing into anything

 that will hold him is just one of them!

 Pete has really gotten into a new hobby - carpentry. He's actually pretty good for a nerd! Will has loved going into the garage to check it out and join in with his toy hammer.

Will loves helping with chores. It's so precious. He loves to sweep the floors (or anything), vacuum, use the brush in the toilet, and unstack the cutlery holder in the dishwasher. He also hands Peter his shoes and socks in the morning when he's getting dressed for work. I love encouraging him in his love of helping people. I just hope he doesn't grow out of it as fast as my brothers and I did!

 

Will and I both had a couple of grotty days at home taking care of 

each other when we had colds.

 

 During which Will did lots of climbing

 lounging around

 And generally being cheeky.

 We watched some favourite programs like Thomas and Friends, 

Playschool and Sesame Street.

And did lots of eating. Like his mum, he rarely loses his appetite...even when sick :-)

June has been a good month and we've had lots on to keep us occupied. We've still got lots to look forward to - another outing to visit our besties in Geelong and a visit from Grandma and Grandpa Watt.