I just wanted to say thanks to my lovely friends that responded in a variety of ways to my post about my recent 'blues.' I'm grateful to you and to all my friends for just being who you are and helping me realise even more how blessed I am. I'm feeling heaps better. I wouldn't say I'm 100% but I'm certainly feeling better and have been waking up each day and making a conscious decision to be HAPPY. My wise husband has been telling me for years that happiness is a choice. I've pinched the following quote from a friend's blog (Hope you don't mind Carissa but when I was reading your blog the other day this really stuck out to me)..."Don't wait for circumstances to change before you are or will be happy. Happiness is a choice that you make and an attitude that you keep." With a refocus on the spiritual, a determination to do even a little bit of exercise each day and some pretty decent natural anti-anxiety vitamins I'm definitely on the right track again.
Speaking of which, I am going to go do a sesh on the Wii fit. Hope you're all having a good day. Much love and thanks to all you beautiful people. x
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Attempt #3
I have been trying to upload a video of Will without much success. I'm not sure what the problem is so I'm publishing this post hoping the video will work....
Well it worked but the quality is terrible because I had to re-encode it so it didn't take 5 hours to upload. Oh well. This is will laughing at Grandad Jones with his favourite toy. We filmed this about 5 weeks ago.
Well it worked but the quality is terrible because I had to re-encode it so it didn't take 5 hours to upload. Oh well. This is will laughing at Grandad Jones with his favourite toy. We filmed this about 5 weeks ago.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Our blue eyed beauty!
Will definitely has those blue eyes from the Jones side of the family. This is an old shot but I love him in this gorgeous cardy. It makes his eyes POP! Too bad about the mouthful of food he's still got in his mouth....
I wish this cardy still fit him! I also wish I had one too :-)
I wish this cardy still fit him! I also wish I had one too :-)Monday, September 19, 2011
Feeling Blue
I've been debating whether or not to post about this for a little while but since I view this blog as a snapshot of life for our family I wanted to be as real as I can be. It's so easy to only post the good stuff and celebrate good memories but life is not always like that. For a couple of months now I've been pretty unhappy. I've felt quite empty and often lonely (even when I'm around friends). Spending time with Will is still fulfilling and I haven't been upset with my role as a mother, I think it's just more like a feeling of isolation and lethargy. I didn't really even realise how bad it had got until Peter was away last week for work. I was completely unmotivated. I really needed to psyche myself up to cook, clean and get out and about. Food didn't taste good and I felt really anxious about all sorts of things. My sleep has been so interrupted due to Will, and even when he'd only wake briefly I just couldn't get back to sleep.
I still don't know if what I'm feeling is anything like Post natal depression or anxiety but I know I just haven't felt like myself for awhile. Having looked into it a bit and after considering how I'm feeling I think most of it comes down to stress. Admitting that seems ridiculous though, because what on earth do I have to stress about!? I mean, come on. I live in a great country, I don't want for anything and I have purpose in life. I have the gospel which brings meaning and direction.
Overall I think I am mainly just sleep deprived. I never appreciated how rejuvenating and vital a good night's sleep could be. When you don't get it for so long it starts to impact on EVERY aspect of your life. I know I'm preaching to the converted here as so many of you lovely blog readers are mothers and full time workers and know firsthand what I'm talking about. I used to get annoyed when I was working full time and would get really tired and mothers would tell me - you don't know what tired is. Wait til you have a baby!! I used to think, what gives them the authority on being tired. Now having experienced lack of sleep and then having to take care of such a needy little human being I can see where they were coming from. I still think some women can be a bit unfair when they make these sorts of comments to others but I can really sympathise with them now. It's just a different kind of tired I think. I think it messes with your mind a bit. I guess that gives weight to the "baby brain" case.
Anyway, I went to the doctor last night and got some blood tests and just had a good chat to him. I made an evening appointment so Pete could come with me (our new housemate stayed at home with sleeping Will - more to come on that in another post :) The doctor drew a Venn diagram for me but unlike the image below, he made the 3 circles different sizes.
The smallest represented "biological," the next "emotional" and the biggest "spiritual." He said it's easy to just look at the biological and often prescribe anti-depressants but the other areas are where we need to look first. I completely agreed with him. He then spoke about how the spiritual can represent one's faith, whether they're religious or not. It could simply be about one's culture or values. When this area is lacking it directly influences our happiness. I was so impressed with his holistic approach to my concerns and Pete and I got the impression he has some sort of faith that keeps him grounded also. I am the first to admit that my spirituality has been low for some time but when I was talking to the doctor it really hit home that concentrating on improving this aspect of my life will make everything else better. Duh! I know this! When I'm in a spiritual funk I know I need to work harder at reading my scriptures and saying my prayers so why have I let it get so bad!? Anyway, this is getting a little personal so I'll just summarise by saying that I know what I need to do to get myself back on track. I can't necessarily control the sleep problem to the extent I would like but I can turn to my Heavenly Father and do what he pleads with all of us to do "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. " Matthew 11:28-30
This scripture just came to my mind right at this moment of posting and I know it is an answer to my prayer. The rest spoken of is what I need. I am so grateful for the scriptures. I know that they are there to communicate Heavenly Father's love and direction for us. I'm not sure how people will feel reading this. I feel like I've been completely candid. It's like reading a page from my real journal. It's been therapeutic for me to record this and through it I've received direction.
I am feeling better already and ready to ENJOY this day. xxx
I still don't know if what I'm feeling is anything like Post natal depression or anxiety but I know I just haven't felt like myself for awhile. Having looked into it a bit and after considering how I'm feeling I think most of it comes down to stress. Admitting that seems ridiculous though, because what on earth do I have to stress about!? I mean, come on. I live in a great country, I don't want for anything and I have purpose in life. I have the gospel which brings meaning and direction.
Overall I think I am mainly just sleep deprived. I never appreciated how rejuvenating and vital a good night's sleep could be. When you don't get it for so long it starts to impact on EVERY aspect of your life. I know I'm preaching to the converted here as so many of you lovely blog readers are mothers and full time workers and know firsthand what I'm talking about. I used to get annoyed when I was working full time and would get really tired and mothers would tell me - you don't know what tired is. Wait til you have a baby!! I used to think, what gives them the authority on being tired. Now having experienced lack of sleep and then having to take care of such a needy little human being I can see where they were coming from. I still think some women can be a bit unfair when they make these sorts of comments to others but I can really sympathise with them now. It's just a different kind of tired I think. I think it messes with your mind a bit. I guess that gives weight to the "baby brain" case.
Anyway, I went to the doctor last night and got some blood tests and just had a good chat to him. I made an evening appointment so Pete could come with me (our new housemate stayed at home with sleeping Will - more to come on that in another post :) The doctor drew a Venn diagram for me but unlike the image below, he made the 3 circles different sizes.
The smallest represented "biological," the next "emotional" and the biggest "spiritual." He said it's easy to just look at the biological and often prescribe anti-depressants but the other areas are where we need to look first. I completely agreed with him. He then spoke about how the spiritual can represent one's faith, whether they're religious or not. It could simply be about one's culture or values. When this area is lacking it directly influences our happiness. I was so impressed with his holistic approach to my concerns and Pete and I got the impression he has some sort of faith that keeps him grounded also. I am the first to admit that my spirituality has been low for some time but when I was talking to the doctor it really hit home that concentrating on improving this aspect of my life will make everything else better. Duh! I know this! When I'm in a spiritual funk I know I need to work harder at reading my scriptures and saying my prayers so why have I let it get so bad!? Anyway, this is getting a little personal so I'll just summarise by saying that I know what I need to do to get myself back on track. I can't necessarily control the sleep problem to the extent I would like but I can turn to my Heavenly Father and do what he pleads with all of us to do "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. " Matthew 11:28-30This scripture just came to my mind right at this moment of posting and I know it is an answer to my prayer. The rest spoken of is what I need. I am so grateful for the scriptures. I know that they are there to communicate Heavenly Father's love and direction for us. I'm not sure how people will feel reading this. I feel like I've been completely candid. It's like reading a page from my real journal. It's been therapeutic for me to record this and through it I've received direction.
I am feeling better already and ready to ENJOY this day. xxx
Birthday goodies
Pete and I both celebrated birthdays recently. I turned 29 - eek!! He turned 27. I was very spoilt to have mum and dad return from their overseas adventure just in time to celebrate my birthday. And, I was very excited about my one and only request from their overseas trip - a video camera. I wasn't expecting it to be so flashy though! The pic below is my shiny new toy. It's so compact I can fit it in my handbag and it's so easy to use. I love love love it and have been filming lots of Will. It's also HD so the quality is great and I'm excited to post some videos every now and then, though they'll mostly be of Will - apologies in advance!
Mum cooked me yummy roast lamb on my birthday too. Nothing like mum's cooking! Pete's pressie was a real surprise (it's so hard to surprise me with anything). He got me a little herb garden. The herbs are just in planter pots for now as we have no lawn at all to plant anything in. I'm actually taking good care of them which is awesome. On our first Christmas Pete got me a beautiful lilly plant but it's struggled the whole time (I'm not a green thumb that's for sure). I'm determined to nurture my yummy herbs.
Pete and I have been trying to find ways of saving money, especially when it comes to gift buying. So for his birthday I was inspired to make a 'candy gram' for him. It's an idea I got from my lovely MTC sisters as it's an American thing. See below:
It's so corny but fun. Pete really loved it too. How can you not like a love note complete with chocolate goodness.
I must admit, it's been a little daunting celebrating this birthday as I can't help but think "Yikes, next year I'm going to be 30!!" I feel like it too! I need to make a few lifestyle changes; namely making time to exercise, as I know it will make me feel better inside and out!
Mum cooked me yummy roast lamb on my birthday too. Nothing like mum's cooking! Pete's pressie was a real surprise (it's so hard to surprise me with anything). He got me a little herb garden. The herbs are just in planter pots for now as we have no lawn at all to plant anything in. I'm actually taking good care of them which is awesome. On our first Christmas Pete got me a beautiful lilly plant but it's struggled the whole time (I'm not a green thumb that's for sure). I'm determined to nurture my yummy herbs.
Pete and I have been trying to find ways of saving money, especially when it comes to gift buying. So for his birthday I was inspired to make a 'candy gram' for him. It's an idea I got from my lovely MTC sisters as it's an American thing. See below:
It's so corny but fun. Pete really loved it too. How can you not like a love note complete with chocolate goodness.
I must admit, it's been a little daunting celebrating this birthday as I can't help but think "Yikes, next year I'm going to be 30!!" I feel like it too! I need to make a few lifestyle changes; namely making time to exercise, as I know it will make me feel better inside and out!
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