A trip to the Emergency Room

A little over 2 weeks ago I was just getting out of the shower and Pete was all set to head out the door for work, when we heard Henry screaming from Will's room. I asked Pete to check it out while I got dressed quickly. Pete brought a hysterically screaming Henry into our room and tried to explain what had happened but the screaming was so loud I couldn't hear him. Pete showed me Henry's hand and I recoiled instantly. I managed to hear that Will had jammed Henry's finger in the door. Henry lunged at me, deafening me even more and Pete went into the hall to talk to Will who was also very upset and worried about his brother. Amidst trying to console Henry I could hear Pete talking to Will about what had happened. Will had shut the door to his bedroom and hadn't realised Henry was right outside the door. Little Henry had his hand in the gap near the hinge when the door closed on his finger. If you have a weak stomache I'd look away now!

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Pete and I knew immediately that this was serious. The nail was hanging on by a thread and we knew his finger might be broken. Pete called the nurse hotline to get some immediate advice for the injury. We were told to plunge his finger into cold water and try to keep him from touching it until we could take him to the Emergency Department. He didn't want to touch it, but trying to get him to keep his finger in icy cold water was no small feat. He screamed relentlessly and I just rocked and cuddled him and reassured him as best I could. Pete then rang his Sister-in-law, Meredith who arranged to meet us at the hospital. I suggested to Pete that we might be best taking Henry to the Womens and Children's hospital in the city but it was 8:30am on a Monday morning and we both decided to try out the hospital that was 5 minutes away. We rang ahead so they knew we were coming. Will was very concerned and very quick to get moving. When we arrived at the hospital we found a park meters from the front entrance. We got the kids out of the car and Will grabbed my hand and started running "Quick mummy, there's the door. Quickly!" Will is normally a very relaxed little man and is never in much of a hurry. We were seen pretty much immediately by the triage nurse, who examined the injury and gave Henry panadol. We were then taken to x-ray. Henry had calmed down by the time we'd seen the nurse. He was cuddled in to me and whimpered occasionally but was at least calm. As we waited for the radiographer to get organised he managed to grab a milk arrowroot biccie from my bag and shoved it in his mouth. I had a feeling to not give him any food but it was a bit late by the time he found it. Anyway, getting the x-ray was awful. They had to manipulate his fingers against a foam block to get the right angles etc for the x-rays...Henry screamed again! Who could blame him! He was so good though. He squirmed and screamed but he didn't thrash around and get hysterical. As soon as it was over he calmed down again and wanted his daddy. We had a long wait before we got to see the Dr for the results and his examination so Pete walked the halls with Henry and I sat and watched playschool with Will. 

Eventually we got to see the Doctor. He looked at the x-ray and told us Henry had a crush fracture and because he couldn't examine the nail bed properly, Henry would need Nailbed surgery. He rang Flinders Hospital and spoke with the Plastic Surgeon Registrar who said there were spots open for surgery that arvo. We could go to the ED and be admitted but they'd be expecting us. I asked if we would be better going to Women's and Children's Hospital but the Dr assured me it would all be sorted and they would have him in surgery this afternoon. 

We went to Flinders after having Meredith pick up Will from our place with an overnight bag. We waited at Flinders for a long long time and the nurses said the Plastic surgeon was held up in surgery...then she was held up upstairs....meanwhile Henry played happily. There was one very feral child also waiting for the plastic surgeon. She would have been about 10 and had an infected heel. What what I heard (It's a small waiting area) she'd had stitches but refused to keep her shoes off. She was supposed to only wear thongs but had put shoes on and generally not looked after the stitches. Her mum kept telling her off for various things and whinged about the fact that she was having to rearrange everything for her girl and that she was desperate for a "ciggie." It made me sad. The girl also screamed and ran off when the nurses tried to examine her foot and her mum kept threatening the daughter by saying "I'll call Hospital security on ya! They'll sort ya out!" It was awful...

Then he started to get really hungry and really tired. He'd had nothing to eat since 9am and it was now 3pm. He was getting really upset and screeching. He kept reaching for the nappy bag as he knew there were snacks in there. I hated starving him! I eventually walked around the ED and rocked him. I found an empty treatment room and he conked out. He had a little nap on the bed and it brought tears to my eyes. 

He woke 40 minutes later and I asked the nurse if something was happening. The Doctor finally arrived and examined him. She agreed about him needing surgery but her spots were now full until later that evening. I told her that there was no way I was going to continue to starve him so we arranged for him to come back the next morning for the first surgery available. I was really annoyed at the muck around. Being held up in surgery is understandable but apparently the Plastic surgeon had just been upstairs on the ward checking things over, when she had 2 children waiting in the ED! I was so angry at myself for not following my mother's intuition about just taking him to the Women's and Children's...but there was no point worrying about that now. We gave Henry about 20 Jatz crackers and lots of water and took him home for a meal. He was so hungry :-(

Anyway, meanwhile Will was happy to have a sleepover with Aunty Meredith and his cousins and Pete and I got dinner for the 3 of us. I was due to go in to work the next day but was really tossing up about whether to go. Peter insisted that I went to work as I'd already committed to it. (I'm doing Relief Work at my old school)

Henry was constantly on my mind though. I just about melted when Pete sent me this photo of Henry just before he went into surgery. 

Pete said that seeing Henry go under the anaesthetic was a little traumatic. He was resistant at first. I imagine it would be pretty daunting to be placed on a hospital bed and have strangers put something over your face. Pete just held him and tried to reassure him until the drugs took effect. I was glad to be at work int he end as my day was flat out and it distracted me. The surgery went beautifully and the Dr said the nail would grow back without any problems. 

I was so excited to see him when I got home. Will hadn't gone to Kindy in the end as he'd been too worried about Henry and had the runs apparently. I think he was stressed so he'd had the day with Grandma. I am so glad we have family close by who come to our aid when needed. I told everyone I had a feeling this wasn't going to be our last trip to the Emergency room with Henry....

I miss Grandad

As the anniversary of Dad's death approached I was very aware of what date it was everyday. That in itself is strange. I rarely know what the date is. I struggle just knowing what day of the week it is. My other friends who are stay at home mums say they're the same. I wasn't sure how I'd feel on the 19th Feb. I woke up and it was an ordinary day and I actually felt ok. I'd organised with my brothers to get flowers for mum. She was travelling back home to Tassie from a week on the Gold Coast with my brother Simeon, so my youngest brother Reuben went and bought a lovely big bunch of flowers and a note from all of us. Mum rang me when she arrived home and was so happy we were all thinking of her. I'm glad she had a lovely stay with Sim and his girl, Jacky. I think it probably took her mind off things for a while at least. She still had a bit of a cry on the phone to me but to me she sounded pretty good.

So dad's anniversary came and went but grief is a funny thing and just hits you full force at random times. I was attending a meeting at church on a Sunday evening a few weeks ago. We were blessed with the opportunity to have an Australia wide broadcast with an apostle from the church, Elder David A Bednar. I learned a lot and felt inspired by a few things he'd discussed. However, as I was leaving I overheard an elderly man talking to a group of people. They asked him how he was and he replied with something like 'well pretty good considering I have cancer. I'm glad I'm still around at 78.' My heart started aching almost immediately with longing for my dad...not longing for him for my benefit though. I just felt like he'd been robbed of the opportunity to enjoy his Grandsons and for them to have his amazing influence in their life. I did not begrudge this man of his life. I just felt like asking God why he got to live and Dad had to die so young! I'm usually the one telling my mum not to think like this as she has said those very words to me many times. I do not believe that God punishes people but it's still hard not to think "if only" sometimes. 

About a week ago mum rang me and sounded quite excited. She proceeded to tell me that she'd had a really amazing experience. She told me that she had been struggling with feelings of anger and was seriously considering writing to the hospital about Dad's specialist and the poor care he'd received in the last few months before he died. However, she kept getting prompted to clean out the garage again and go through a particular box that she'd already sorted through after Dad died. In the box she found a little notebook and turned straight to a page that read these words that dad had written 

"Let go what you cant change. I will love you forever in this life and the next. 

Accept what is! Let go of what was! Have faith in what will be." 

It is basically what the boys and I have been advising her to do. But this message was directly from dad and she said that as she read it she felt like Dad was speaking directly to her and that the feeling she had to check the box was Dad communicating to her. I readily agreed. My friend who lost her son and husband has had so many experiences where rainbows will appear at certain times and it's like her loved ones are communicating to her and her family from Heaven. Another girl on Instagram finds little love heart shaped items wherever she goes. She calls them love notes from CJ (Her late husband). I truly feel that the loved ones we lose still communicate with us in unique yet very personal ways. Simeon told mum that Jacky dreamt about dad. Simeon met Jacky after Dad passed away yet she woke up Sim in the middle of the night to tell him that she'd met dad in her dreams and loved him so much. Sim said she was so excited and said it had felt so real. I remember Sim talking about meeting Jacky and how he'd felt Dad had led her to Sim. Our grief is still there but it's nice to be able to recognise the blessings that come within tragedy. 

For the past week or so Will has been very emotional. He started talking to me about having a friend in Heaven. I asked who this friend was and he said he didn't know. A day later he was sitting at the table during lunch and looked up at me, tears filled his eyes and he choked on the words "I miss Grandad." Will hasn't said anything about Dad for a few months and I was beginning to worry that he'd started to forget him.  I'd talked about him but not gotten much response from Will previously or he'd say "I don't miss Grandad. He's in Heaven."....Will and I had a big hug and I told him I really missed him too. He then said that he wished Grandad was here so he could read him stories and sing his silly song to him. My dad used to sing this funny little song to Will. 

"Oh dear what can the matter be, Three old ladies got stuck in the Lavatory,

They were there from Monday to Saturday, no-body knew they were there!"

I started singing it and Will asked me to stop. I had a little cry with Will and told him that Grandad can't be with us but that he watches over us from Heaven. Will asked me If Grandad was coming back from Heaven soon? It's hard to know what to say to that. I've told Will that we will be resurrected someday, just like the Saviour, but his concept of time is still a child's understanding so I don't want to confuse him. Last Sunday we had Bill and Sue over after church for the afternoon. Pete and I were preparing dinner in the kitchen and I heard Will talking to his Grandpa Bill. He said "Grandpa, I miss my Grandad!" I started crying and had a big hug with Pete as Bill gave Will a hug and said he knew he was missing Grandad. I said to Will that we'd have to watch some videos of him with his Grandad but I hate to say that we've yet to do that. Life has been so hectic the past few weeks but I must do this with Will so he can feel that connection and remember the things he loves about his Grandad and the special relationship they have. 

With Easter fast approaching I hope I can find simple ways to teach Will about the Atonement and the role of the Savior. That because of him we will be able to be reunited with his Grandad and live as families for eternity. 

I tracked down the last video I took of Dad. It's the afternoon we arrived In Tassie to visit Dad 2 weeks before he passed away. It's taken on my phone and edited so it's at the right angle, so the quality isn't great. It's such a sweet video. I know Will is going to love watching it tomorrow.