Dad's Eulogy

Derek Anthony Jones was born at home on the 6^th May 1950, at Glouster St Wolverhampton, England. He was the third child born to Ronald and Beryl and the only child born at home. Derek’s older sister Pat was desperate for a little sister so the Doctor told her “I’m sorry Pat, I haven’t got a little sister for you. I only have a little baby boy. Shall I take him back?”  Pat became most upset and exclaimed “Oh no!!” She was smitten with her little brother and doted on him whilst still calling him “Judy” for a little while. Derek and Pat have always been very close and spent a lot of time together growing up. All of the children got along rather well and spent a lot of time together in their youth.

Dad was a bit of a mummy’s boy and extremely shy as a child. When he learnt to write at school his class were asked to write about their mothers. Dad wrote that his mother was tall, slim and had dark hair. When his parents questioned why he had written this he said “ Well, I didn’t want to tell them you were short, fat and got red hair!” He didn’t mention that his mother was 8 months pregnant at the time!

His parents joined the Latter-Day Saint church in 1953 and he was raised in a gospel-centred home, often filled with Missionaries and other members of the church for various activities and social functions. The Jones Family immigrated to Australia in 1959 and settled in Elizabeth, SA.

In his teenage years he was a bit of a loner and detested school; especially the triple lesson of Maths on a Wednesday afternoon. He used to wag that class a lot. He was a real homebody and remained quite shy in his youth. He was however, a bit of a heart-throb. His mother often recalled various young girls knocking on the door asking for Derek! Even though dad left school at the end of year 9 he was very intelligent. His writing was eloquent and he was the one who would spend hours if necessary helping us with homework. Even when I went to Uni I would spend hours on the phone with him discussing my essays and getting his advice. Dad was never too busy. I can’t recall a single occasion when he didn’t drop everything to help out with us children or someone in need.

When he and his siblings were teenagers the house would often be filled with people on Saturday nights for “Musical nights.” Dad and his siblings would play the popular music at the time, (mostly Rock N Roll) and they would dance and sing along. My brothers and I remember similar evenings as children when we would sit at our dining table and play board and card games and listen to 6 o clock rock on 7LA on Saturday nights. Even as we got older we didn’t mind Dad singing away to the Beatles in the car.

Like most teenagers dad got up to his own share of mischief. The front fence of dad’s family home had a missing pailing. Ron, (Dad’s father) had been meaning to fix it for ages and it just wasn’t getting done.

Ron loaned his car to Dad and his brother, Alan one weekend. They couldn’t drive yet but had asked an Elder who was serving his building mission to drive. The Elder backed the car into the fence and the boys all madly repaired the fence (forgetting that the pailing had been missing). Ron arrived home and said “Oh boys, I want to thank you for repairing the fence for me.” It was then that youngest brother Adrian piped up “ Oh dad, they knocked the fence down.” Ron never loaned the car to them again.

Dad was quite unsettled during his teenage years and recorded in his own journal

“Like so many youths, I fell away from the things I had been taught, even neglecting school studies. After various jobs I decided to join the Royal Australian Navy, which my father believed would bring some discipline in my life. I spent 6 years in the Navy as a Radio Operator in submarines on a ship and a fleet Air Arm base in Nowra, NSW. I was fortunate to travel to Japan, The Philippines, Hong Kong, Singapore, Guam and 4 day layover in Vietnam in 1970 when the war was still raging..but beginning to wind down. I received medals from the Gov’t 17 years later and it was quite an emotional moment for me. I must say public attitude has changed (since the Vietnam War ended) and I say without fear of contradiction that myself and the general public are proud to be seen wearing my medals, plus those of my father and Grandfather who served in the RAF Malta during WW2 and the Calvary in WW1 respectively."

Shortly before Dad left the Navy he met an old girlfriend from high-school and they were married. Her name was Thelma Minahan. The marriage only lasted 2 years. Dad says they thought they could just pick up where they left off in high-school but it wasn’t meant to be. He met Jennifer Douglas when he was working as a manager at KFC. The staff had a party and dad was caught ‘eyeing’ mum off by their mutual friend. This friend decided to do a Mock wedding ceremony. Mum and dad kissed and have been together ever since. Mum said she fell madly in love with him from that moment. They were married Feb 22^nd 1980 and lived in Christies Beach, SA. I was born in 1982, followed shortly after by Dylan.

Dylan was born with Downs syndrome and had many other health complications. He passed away on 17^th Nov 1986. He had a profound impact on my parents and I. Having a child with a disability ultimately led to dad becoming a Disability Support Worker. He remained in this vocation until his retirement. Dad was well loved by the clients he worked with in many group homes and we shared many family outings and holidays with dad’s clients throughout our childhood. My brothers and I were taught to love all people and I’m so grateful for my dad’s example of treating each person whether they had a disability, mental illness or different ethnicity with respect and kindness.

 

Simeon was born in 1986, and Reuben in 1988. Dad affectionately referred to them as “The boys.” And we still call them that now. Although Dad worried about them with their typical boyish mischief he was so proud of them and made sure that with his last bit of strength he expressed that pride and his love to them. Dad didn’t leave anything unsaid and we were so grateful to express our feelings of love and gratitude back to him before he passed. We couldn’t be prouder of our amazing father.

Dad always valued the gift of time and thoughtfulness rather than material possessions. He was happy with the simple things in life and spending time with his family. When going through his treasured items after his passing it was not items of monetary possession that he kept, but personal letters from us children and cards with heartfelt messages. Family always came first and we never doubted we were his number one priority in life.

Dad spent hours in his garden and reading his books. He particularly liked books set during war times and enjoyed a lot of non-fiction. Dad liked to think that whilst he wasn’t an expert on anything, he knew a little bit about a lot of different subjects. I will miss the interesting conversations and even heated debates about different topics with my dad.

Growing up, Dad was a serious and disciplined man who us kids were almost fearful of at times. Yet, he seemed to balance the line between being feared and adored. He would come down hard on us if we were naughty but he was also the type of dad to lose himself for hours playing with us. For years Dad would give us horsey rides to bed, killing his knees on the hard floors at our old farmhouse in Bracknell. We would also enjoy mornings playing rough and tumbles on mum and dad’s bed. Dad had a great sense of humour and as he got older he developed a gentle sincere approach which endeared him to everyone he came in contact with and it is a great testament to his nature that he formed so many long lasting friendships over the years. So many of you here today.

Dad was a real softie. We would often see him tear up when watching a movie or something uplifting. If we mentioned it he would deny it. He softened even more in later years and was more comfortable admitting when he was touched by something.

Dad was a great people watcher – not to judge them. He was rarely critical of people. He simply enjoyed observing people and the way they went about life and interacted with others. He spent so much time in the hospital in the last few years that he had lots of opportunity to witness human behaviour as people came and went. He was always interested in other people and had a special way of making people feel valued and worth something. Dad seemed to connect with people that many would ignore. A few people have expressed to me that dad was one of the good guys, not in a show off kind of way but in a quiet behind the scenes way…and that is the best kind. He was a wonderful Home Teacher and tried so hard to do this important work. It was his way of showing his love for the Saviour whilst also loving the people he visited. Dad always said that he didn’t grow up with many close friends and even as a married man felt he was a bit of a loner. In his later years I believe he developed some beautiful friendships and you could tell that he was well loved.

 

Dad was completely loyal and committed to his marriage. He and mum have had many trials and although the road was often bumpy they remained steadfast to the covenants they made together in the temple. They often seemed a bit of an ‘odd’ couple as they were so different in personality but together they made a dynamic team. Dad has been mum’s rock but in the last few years mum was able to be his rock and care for him so beautifully as he battled cancer.

Dad was diagnosed with Non Hodgkins Lymphoma just before his 60^th Birthday after struggling with various stomache issues over many years. The cancer was in an advanced stage and he underwent chemo almost straight away. Dad was resolved to do all he could to get the most out of life. He maintained a positive attidtude and demonstrated so much faith to be healed. I remember Dad counselling me to start a family. Pete and I were planning on it but hadn’t taken that final plunge until Dad was diagnosed. Since then we have been blessed with 2 beautiful boys, William and Henry who were the light of their Grandad’s life. He battled his cancer for years, once going into remission and enjoying a world cruise with mum….but it was time with his grandkids that he seemed to value most of all in his final years. Will has a real closeness with his Grandad and it was such a blessing to see my dad light up around him and witness the special bond they share.

Dad never uttered a word of complaint during his battle with cancer. He was a tower of strength through it all. Everyone referred to him as a ‘fighter.’ The only thing that seemed to sadden him in the end was that he would miss out on seeing his Grandchildren grow up. However, they have his wonderful legacy and memories we will ensure they cherish and he will continue to influence all who knew him for good.

I finished off with some personal closing remarks but apart from reiterating Dad’s love for the gospel, I couldn't tell you what else I said.